Happy new year! January offers us a clean slate. It’s a time to assess where we are and determine where we want to go. As we usher in a new year, we often make resolutions like losing weight or changing jobs or meeting someone special. If we’re really serious about our new goals we make immediate changes: we join a gym, post an updated resume, download a dating app. Then we jump in with determination and enthusiasm.
However, by the end of January the number on the scale hasn’t moved all that much, our dream job hasn’t materialized yet and there are more “crazies” out there than we ever imagined! Discouragement sets in. We go the gym less often, no longer pull up new job postings and stop responding to the dating app. By February we are right back where we started but now we’re disheartened. Maybe there is a better way to begin a new year.
Instead of making a resolution this year, consider setting an intention. The definition of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something; the quality of being determined or resolute.” The root of the word is resolute, and it means “admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.” Resolutions focus on an outcome and tend to be rigid and uncompromising. Intentions are defined as “purpose or attitude towards the effect of one’s actions or conduct”. Intentions have a goal in mind but they focus on the process that leads to the desired outcome. Intentions are flexible and allow for the unexpected. The differences between a resolution and an intention are subtle but powerful.
The top three New Year’s Resolutions are 1.) exercise more 2.) lose weight 3.) get organized. Let’s compare how exercising more feels when it’s driven by a resolution to how it feels when it’s brought to fruition from intention. Both the resolution and the intention have the same desired outcome: getting more exercise. So maybe we buy a gym membership and block off time in our schedule to get there three times a week. The path for the resolution has been laid so now all we have to do is follow it. For the first few weeks all is well. We are getting to the gym as planned and feeling proud of our dedication.
However, over time, we lose our focus. Our schedule changes or we get bored or injured. Now we only exercise twice a week; then once a week and finally a week or two goes by where we don’t even go to the gym. Our path has deteriorated so we abandon our resolution and we feel dejected.
With an intention to exercise more, we still buy the gym membership and follow the same path, but when that path deteriorates we are open to another route. When we notice that we are getting bored after a few weeks of faithfully exercising three times a week at the gym, instead of buckling down to reach our goal, we refocus on our intention. Was the intention to get to the gym more often or to exercise more often? There are infinite ways to exercise more! Instead of going to the gym you decide to ride your bike through the park. Maybe a friend asks you to play tennis or your kids rope you into roller blading with them. Life offers endless opportunities for more movement so if your intention is to move more, you will become aware of them. The focus shifts away from structured routine (I will go to the gym three times per week) to a flexible exploration (how can I move my body?) You are very likely to fail if there is only one way to achieve your goal. Intentions offer a multitude of paths.
The difference between resolutions and intentions is profound. Intentions require dedication and action but allow for flexibility and exploration. Intentions enable us to focus on a goal-driven process with the realization that it is ongoing and ever-changing. Over the long term, it is the ability to remain fluid and responsive that enables us to achieve our goals. Set your intentions this year and focus on the possibilities within the process.